Love Blog

Ingredients For A Happy Marriage

LoveBug — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 04:30:54 +0000

Divorce rates are racing the matrimonial charts across continents. The reasons are many but resolutions taken are none. So we at Love Blog have created our own concoction of things which we feel we all need to add in our relationships.

These following proportions should be used and increased as you spend each year with your better half.

5 tablespoons Adjustment
5 tablespoons Understanding
5 tablespoons Patience
5 tablespoons Loyalty and Devotion
5 tablespoons Empathy

Mix these ingredients together and apply it daily in your life. When both the partners do their bit of adding 5 tablespoons from their side, the relationship gets 10/10.

Work on your marriage today and live a happy, fulfilled lifetime together.

Why Do Marriages Fail?

LoveBug — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 04:30:26 +0000

Marriages fall out everyday. Couples say that they tried but it didn’t work out. They are heart broken. Slowly, they heal their emotional scars and try again. But the hurt of the first marriage still lingers somewhere and transforms into their lives again.

Some common reasons why marriages fail are:

1) Fault finding or criticism are hurtful. It involves attacking someone’s nature rather than their behaviour. This hurts the self esteem of the person.

2) Intimacy is crucial in a marriage. Everyone needs and wants to be cared for and nurtured. If this is deprived then the marriage is sure to fail.

3) Nagging and complaining leads to annoyance. It is good to vent out problems but doing that too often is not healthy. Communicate, discuss and resolve your differences rather than bringing them up and arguing over them daily.

4) Stonewalling your partner because you don’t want to deal with the problem. A partner may feel overwhelmed by emotions and problems that the relationship is facing so he/she can withdraw himself/herself. They avoid confrontations by remaining silent, avoid eye contact and decide to sleep early rather than opening and resolving their feelings.

5) Adjustment is the foundation of any marriage. If you are going to live together then you have to give in to your spouse’s good and bad habits. Many find various habits of their partner irritating and annoying.

6) Infidelity can range from a one night drunken mistake to a long term, planned affair. Infidelity happens when feelings of depression, stress or just being overwhelmed with the pressures of life can cause some people to neglect their appearance and hygiene. Another reason for looking outside the marriage is when couples become very demanding. A wife or husband may not realize that nagging and complaining is demanding. It puts a lot of pressure on a spouse to be a certain way for the other. And if they are unable to follow the desired wishes and commands then they start searching for peace outside the house.

Marriages can work if each one understands the other with empathy, communicates openly and stand by each other, taking marriage as a lifelong commitment.

How To Resolve Conflicts In A Relationship

LoveBug — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 04:30:02 +0000

Nurturing a relationship is vital if you want to stay together. Bitterness, irritation and constant stress between two people not only affects their personal mindset but also the people around. Learn to resolve fights and arguments by saying “Sorry.” But many find it hard to say this. It is important to understand that if you are wrong, admitting your mistake is the right thing to do. An argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

When in an argument, avoid bringing up the past as it will add more hostility. It is best to remain calm and above all forgive and forget. If you have to disagree then do it devotedly. There will be many occasions when you and your partner will not see things eye to eye. Learn to accept people as they are and adjust whole-heartedly.

Learn to be persistent in showing that both of you like each other and want to better your relationship at every stage of your life. This will create harmony and balance in your lives for years together.

25 Tips To Develop A Nurturing And Successful Relationship

LoveBug — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:30:24 +0000

Making a relationship work smoothly is not always easy but it is not impossible. The problem usually arises when one takes the other for granted or have too many expectations. The following 25 tips are guidelines to help you delve into your own relationship and look at the possibilities of improvement.

1) Take time out to spend it in a meaningful way with your partner. Quality time is essential to rekindle your love and romance away from kids, family and friends.

2) Relationship needs security and warmth. This is only possible when each person understands the other and is willing to bend a little to accommodate their needs.

3) Love each other dearly but learn to give each other space.

4) Men are rarely able to express themselves as women do. They need more time alone to sort out their thoughts before expressing them. Understanding their needs helps to maintain harmony and respect.

5) Learn to appreciate and compliment one another.

6) Express the way you want him to arouse you. This helps him to understand your needs for intimacy.

7) Learn to be genuine in a relationship. This helps to sort out indifferences and misunderstandings.

8) Love one another with all their good traits as well as bad ones.

9) Be clear in your dealings with your better half. Avoid being resentful. If you had an argument, make up and avoid carrying the ill-feelings forward.

10) It is not a good idea to give your partner a hard time. It will instead make him more obstinate. The best way to accept his good qualities and ignore the ones you dislike.

11) Financial matters are usually the cause of conflicts. Learn to work on a budget and manage your investments jointly.12) Divide your domestic tasks so that both get a chance to manage and run the household successfully.

13) Parenting is a wonderful experience. Share your views and raise your kids together.

14) Learn to bring the passion back if you find a slump in it.

15) Don’t get tempted with one night stand. Remember your marriage vows and what he/she means to you before you give it all up just for adventure or a wager.

16) If you are bored with your partner, it usually covers up some form of anger. It is important that you find out the cause of it.

17) Always be positive and that rubs off on the family members. If he/she is feeling low, give him/her space before hovering over them with questions.

18) Avoid arguments. Don’t be harsh and say hurtful things which will haunt you later.

19) Being perfect all the time is not always possible. Make up for the time you have been nasty by commenting something sweet or hugging him/her.

20) Live in harmony by discussing your likes, desires and goals in life. In this way, achieving them together cements the relationship better.

21) Accept one another and don’t be bitter if he/she has a trait that you dislike. Learn to work around it.

22) Forgiveness is essential in a relationship. But if you find that you really cannot forgive a person then it is best that you move on and find someone else. Being resentful for the rest of your life is not good for the heart and soul.

23) It is important that you realize that the two of you will change and discover yourself as the years go by. You may think that you know him now but later he may not be the same person. So make it a point to find out if neither of you have changed your mind.

24) If the relationship is making you miserable like physical and emotional abuse. Then it is best that you break it off.

25) Seeking advice from counselors doesn’t always mean failure. Professionals know how to manage relationships and provide insights that you may have not considered before.

Every effort that is put in a relationship is never a loss. You will always reap its benefits in some form or the other. If nothing else, you will understand yourself better.

Makeover For Relationships

LoveBug — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 07:14:09 +0000

Improvement is needed in everything we do, whether it is our appearance or even our relationship. Here are some tips to give your relationship a makeover.

1) Decide: You need to decide on three things you would like to improve about your relationship-whether it is more time together, better sex or a commitment to romantic gestures and work out what you both need to do to make that happen. He could come home early once a week and help you make a nice meal. Or you may need to be more specific about your expectations when it comes to housework and divide up the tasks so you are each responsible for different areas.

2) Practice: Learn to say “Sorry.” It doesn’t mean you were wrong, just that you are sorry your partner feels upset. A gentle apology can defuse a brewing argument and lays the groundwork for a calm chat. Of course, it is two-way street, so you must both agree to say sorry when you have hurt each other.

3) Time: In a relationship, time together doesn’t happen magically just because you live together, in fact it’s much easier to take each other for granted. You need to book in quality time. A date once a week, or a simple agreement that you will switch off the TV and catch up, will bring you closer and remind you why you fell in love. It can help to rule out stressful discussions about kids and money for the first hour and concentrate on your feelings.

4) Compliments: Research shows happily-married couples say five positive things for every negative comment. So make it a priority to compliment your partner everyday.

Relationships are delicate. It is important to know how to sustain them if you want them to last forever.

Being In A Relationship For The Wrong Reasons – Are You One Of Them?

LoveBug — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 04:30:35 +0000

Here is a guide to help you make up your mind if you are in a relationship for the wrong reasons:

1) Do you put him on a pedestal? If you find it difficult to see any negative traits whatsoever in your partner, you are romanticizing him. Nobody is without faults and if you refuse to see his, you are not in a real relationship-you are living in fantasyland.

Think Again: You are romanticizing him because you don’t want to face uncomfortable truths which might put the relationship in danger. When you acknowledge his negative traits, it means he has the right to focus on yours. But in any meaningful relationship, it’s essential you are honest with each other, before you commit. Notice how you feel when you are with him-whenever you are hurt, confused, or worried by his words or behaviour, then you will know it is time to speak up.

2) Do You Obsess? At the start of a relationship, it’s pretty normal to read a complex novel into a text message, or to pick apart everything he said with your best friend he said with your best friend. But a few months in, if you are still compulsively analyzing everything he does, scanning his tone of voice for “clues” to his state of mind and lying awake wondering how he is feeling, you have got a problem.

Think Again: When you obsess, it generally means you don’t believe you are worthy of his love. You have made him 100% more important than you in the relationship and given him all the power. Wake up to the idea that all good relationships and 50/50. Tell him how you feel, for a change and focus on your own life. If he’s all you have got, you will be pretty boring.

3) Do You Chase Commitment? If you are addicted to being in love, nothing feels secure as you are convinced if he stops loving you, you will be worthless. With such a frightening prospect in view, no wonder you are terrified he is going to leave you. To combat the fear, you chase promises of commitment and proof of love, and panicking when he is 10 minutes late home in case he is run off.

Think Again: If you smother someone, they will want to run away. No one can take being endlessly required to prove they are trustworthy. If an ex cheated, then you are carrying the baggage and should stay single till you are over it or get counseling. If you have no reason to doubt him- other than your own lack of self-belief you need to bite your tongue before you drive him away altogether.

4) Do You Push Him To The Edge? When they are damaged or hurt, children often rebel by testing the boundaries of their parents love. By behaving as badly as possible, they reason, they can find out if their parents will love them no matter what. And sometimes, that continues into adulthood. If you are constantly picking fights or flirting (and worse) with other guys, you are probably insecure and testing him to see if he will stay.

Think Again: This is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You don’t feel loved so you set out to prove you aren’t loved, so you behave appallingly and one day, he stops loving you. You are trapped in a destructive cycle. A simple conversation: “I have been hurt and I find it hard to believe you really care about me…” will cement your relationship in ways bad behaviour never will.

5) Do You Have Sex Too Soon? When you are starved of love, it’s easy to confuse physical affection with attention. If a guy wants to sleep with you, you feel flattered, validated and convinced it’s the start of a relationship. Otherwise, why would he be so attentive? Of course, 9 times out of ten, it’s because he just wants sex…

Think Again: Make yourself wait, or you’ll keep falling in bed, believing that you are in love. Remind yourself that if he likes you, he will stick around toll you know each other better, But if he just wanted sex, he will move on to the next willing woman, so you are not losing anything by saying no. Sex and love is not the same thing, and one doesn’t always lead to the other. It’s time to stop chasing the fantasy, however romantic his kisses seem, and deal in reality. If a relationship’s worth having, it’s always worth waiting for. Excerpt of this article taken from Daily Mirror

The Importance Of Spending Quality Time In A Relationship

LoveBug — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:24:32 +0000

We keep hearing this term very often that quality time is much needed in relationships today. But many fail to define this need and its importance.

Quality time is essential in building a solid relationship.
It brings security, comfort and develops understanding.
The way to practice this is to appreciate one another.
Show and tell with your actions and behavior how much you admire your partner for his/her good deeds and qualities.
Manage the balance of dependence and independence because many partners dislike when there is a tendency to cling, then they feel that they are trapped in the relationship.
Doing activities together brings joy to both partners.
Decide and plan outings or intimate dinners and spice up your romance.

How To Manage, Balance And Sustain A Relationship

LoveBug — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 04:30:47 +0000

There are no fixed formulae to manage, balance and sustain relationships. But we have to try our best to keep one. Changing or moving from one partner to another may seem fun in the beginning but such relationships have no depth and understanding. They are termed mostly as “one-night stands” or “no strings attached” relationships.

To be in a true relationship, there are real emotions involved and managing that needs work. The best way to start the foundation of a good relationship is to be truthful.
Frankness leads to prosperity as you will face less problems. Being honest about what you want is the best way to start influencing your relationship. Leaving no room for guess work, allows emotional security to your partner.
Manipulation comes in the way of those who don’t know what they are looking for in their relationship. This only complicates the matter and leaves room for conflicts.
A relationship is a partnership between two people. So you need to know what your partner wants in any situation. Once you have got a proper understanding of what you will have to “give” or “give up,” discussions will be better. It is difficult but true that it is not always possible to change your partner’s mind. It could be a petty issue or a life changing problem.
The aim shouldn’t be to have your way in every situation or winning an argument. Leave room for openness and allow your partner to speak his/her mind and be a party to the new change.
Important conversation shouldn’t be rushed or done when you are extremely tired. Interruptions in form of phone calls or discussing when your favorite soap is airing on TV are not the ideal way to resolve conflicts.
Listening is crucial. You need to hear what your partner thinks and feels as well to move towards a compromise. Ask them what they think about the problem at hand and whether there is anything that they might want to add to it.
His/her views are also important so that there is no dominance in the relationship but equal sharing. Relationships work when the partner persuades and not manipulates.

5 Easy Steps To Maintain A Healthy Relationship

LoveBug — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 04:30:03 +0000

Always clearly communicate how you feel.
Give the relationship some space. Avoid getting too clingy.
Find a middle ground and commit to make the relationship work.
Never lose your confidence and self-esteem. Don’t doubt your instincts or you will hurt yourself and the relationship will crumble.
Remember always be calm and patient. The effort will definitely be worth the wait.

This Valentine’s Day Fall In Love All Over Again

LoveBug — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 05:10:06 +0000

What better day to profess your love than Valentine’s Day. It is the day of romance around the world. A reminder to acknowledge the one we love the most. Cherishing someone is important and making that person feel special is even more significant. Valentine’s Day is one such day that officially reminds you that it is time that you fall in love again. Tips To Make Someone Feel Special On Valentine’s Day

Do special things throughout the week and surprise her.
Keep love notes or “I Love You” on post-its on all the places she goes around the house, car or work area.
Take your loved one for lunch or plan a special outing together
Buying something memorable.
Going to the place where you first met and cherishing those happy memories together