Marriages fall out everyday. Couples say that they tried but it didn’t work out. They are heart broken. Slowly, they heal their emotional scars and try again. But the hurt of the first marriage still lingers somewhere and transforms into their lives again.

Some common reasons why marriages fail are:

1) Fault finding or criticism are hurtful. It involves attacking someone’s nature rather than their behaviour. This hurts the self esteem of the person.

2) Intimacy is crucial in a marriage. Everyone needs and wants to be cared for and nurtured. If this is deprived then the marriage is sure to fail.

3) Nagging and complaining leads to annoyance. It is good to vent out problems but doing that too often is not healthy. Communicate, discuss and resolve your differences rather than bringing them up and arguing over them daily.

4) Stonewalling your partner because you don’t want to deal with the problem. A partner may feel overwhelmed by emotions and problems that the relationship is facing so he/she can withdraw himself/herself. They avoid confrontations by remaining silent, avoid eye contact and decide to sleep early rather than opening and resolving their feelings.

5) Adjustment is the foundation of any marriage. If you are going to live together then you have to give in to your spouse’s good and bad habits. Many find various habits of their partner irritating and annoying.

6) Infidelity can range from a one night drunken mistake to a long term, planned affair. Infidelity happens when feelings of depression, stress or just being overwhelmed with the pressures of life can cause some people to neglect their appearance and hygiene. Another reason for looking outside the marriage is when couples become very demanding. A wife or husband may not realize that nagging and complaining is demanding. It puts a lot of pressure on a spouse to be a certain way for the other. And if they are unable to follow the desired wishes and commands then they start searching for peace outside the house.

Marriages can work if each one understands the other with empathy, communicates openly and stand by each other, taking marriage as a lifelong commitment.

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Nurturing a relationship is vital if you want to stay together. Bitterness, irritation and constant stress between two people not only affects their personal mindset but also the people around. Learn to resolve fights and arguments by saying “Sorry.” But many find it hard to say this. It is important to understand that if you are wrong, admitting your mistake is the right thing to do. An argument doesn’t need a winner or a loser.

When in an argument, avoid bringing up the past as it will add more hostility. It is best to remain calm and above all forgive and forget. If you have to disagree then do it devotedly. There will be many occasions when you and your partner will not see things eye to eye. Learn to accept people as they are and adjust whole-heartedly.

Learn to be persistent in showing that both of you like each other and want to better your relationship at every stage of your life. This will create harmony and balance in your lives for years together.

©LoveBlog, 2007-2008. All Rights Reserved.

Every relationship requires some amount of adjustments. But it is essential that you are aware of the pitfalls that cause the love bond to go sour.

 Another example of unrealistic relationship expectation is thinking that your partner is the solution to all your problems lifelong. Expecting this is not being fair to him or yourself. You will be always dependant and clinging to him for every little thing. You are responsible for your life and your self-esteem.